I have always been told never to go to sleep when your angry. If you go to bed angry you do not get to work out the issue that upset you in the first place and often just feel more angry the next day. Frustration will help make sure you not only don’t get a descent nights sleep but that you will wake the next day with the same feelings you already had but intensified.
Children are no different than adults. We as parents have to try our best to make sure they learn to control their anger but also on how they process the emotion once it is obtained. The best way our children will ever learn is from example. They will model our responses and will become much happier adults.
At times though even the best made plans just don’t work out the way you want them too.
Last night I sent Xan to his room for acting out (Go to your room) It was still early in the evening (right at 6.) I was afraid he might go to sleep and didn’t really want him to but I knew that Xander had to learn actions have consequences.
I only leave him in his room for 3 minutes (based on the 1 minute per year rule and he is able to stay in one place for that length of time). I have found, for Xander, they are longest 3 minutes of his life. Normally, he has a time-out and we then discuss his behavior and what exactly was wrong with it and how in the future we might better cope with the situation. The time-out ends with Xander apologizing and both of us saying, “I love you.” He fell asleep within a minute and I did not hear from him until this morning when he woke up.
Xander did not call for me this morning. When I went into get him he wouldn’t look at me.
Me: Your awake then…did you sleep good? (trying to be positive)
Xan: No sleep good! (still won’t look at me)
Me: Xan are you still mad? (inquisitiveness in voice although I already know the answer)
Xan: (dead silence)
Me: Alright Xan…I am sorry that your still mad at me. I guess I will just have to give your morning kisses and hugs to the teddy bear here. (pick up teddy bear)
Xan: NO NO NO!!! (screaming loudly - gets out of bed and grabs bear from me)
Me: Okay I will give them all to Mr. Dog (grab the stuffed dog - seriously wanting to laugh)
Xan: NO NO NO NOOOO!!!! (grabs dog out of my hand and throws it)
Me: (really really want to laugh) Ok…who can I give my love to then?
Xan: (first smile of the day - Xander reaches for a stuffed cow and hands it to me…butt side towards my face) You love this!
Me: You want me to kiss the cow? (i think he thought this through)
Xan: Yes…here cows butt! (acts all proud of himself)
Me: (want to laugh but I think i am insulted at the same time since he just gave me the butt)
Xander and I then proceeded to talk about how he was feeling this morning. I must admit though my son has style and a wicked since of humor for a toddler. I honestly didn’t know there were so many ways for a 3 year old to call their parent a ass.
1 point Xander for being intuitive enough to call his dada a butt without ever using the word, 0 points cow butt for somehow being made to have to kiss dada, 1 point dada for having the emotional intelligence to speak to his son about the whole incident and never laugh one time! (I never said I didn’t laugh a whole lot later though!)